Squirrels are the enemy

I wish to educate you all on a subject which I feel to be most important and which I feel is, by and large, neglected: Pooping Squirrel Awareness. Because of their bushy tails, charming nut eating habits, and large doe-y eyes, squirrels have a reputation for being harmless. This is absolutely not true. Let me, if you will, relate a personal experience. About a year or so ago, Paul and I were enjoying a relaxing afternoon in Central Park. We had just had some outrageously good soul food, and we were reclining on a blanket when we heard some frisky squirrels being, well, squirrelly, in the trees above. No sooner did we hear the squirrels make their presence known than did I feel a drop of....something....directly above my upper lip. Upon further examination, my worst fears were realized. The squirrel had, indeed, pooped on me. After making lots and lots of really high pitched squeally girl noises mixed with some choice words directed at the squirrel ( I think I used the term "stupidsquirrelhead" quite a few times), I doused myself with hand sanitizer and vowed never to think squirrels were cute again. They say time heals all wounds, and by and large I have found this to be true, but if we are to truly learn, we must retain some memory, yes? Some kernel of knowledge must be gained? So, when I was walking home from work last evening, and a frisky squirrel darted across my path making those stupid squirrel noises that I'm supposed to find cute, I reflected on my past experience and thought it warranted sharing. If I can help at least one person to not be pooped on by a squirrel, I'll have accomplished my goal. Thank you.