The way it goes is this:
I break down.
And I don't blog for a while.
Then, I think about blogging for a long while. But to come back from the breakdown is like the change of the seasons, when it's turning from winter to spring and I realize I've forgotten that it can be warm.
I spend time thinking about how to bridge the gap. Blogging is my good friend who probably isn't mad that I haven't called in a while but still seeing her for the first time after that break is sort of awkward and I feel like I need a funny story or something to break the ice.
I think it's because usually my breakdowns follow posts on Big Important Life Stuff and after that I'm not always sure what to say. I mean, Big Important Life Stuff is, well, important and all, but also sometimes you want to post about Paul Boerem because he's just funny.
Which is exactly what I intend to do right now.
The other night as I attempt to drift off to sleep, Paul reaches over and grabs my arm.
"Mmmmffffphhhfffrrrruuuudoingyrnails???" He is both muffled and extraordinarily loud, since he sleeps with earplugs on account of my teeth grinding which I feel very bad about but which I have no control over whatsoever.
"What?"
"Are you doing your nails?"
I want to be mad, but when Paul asks you in the middle of the night in your darkened bedroom if you're painting your nails, it's kind of hard.
"No. No, I'm not."
"Oh. Great, I probably have a tumor."
And he falls right back to sleep. And I should fall back asleep too, but instead I lie awake for a few more minutes chewing on the funny story in my mind like it's bacon or something else delicious.
