the forgotten art of childhood

Yesterday, I went to school to learn how to be a kid.

I used to know. I used to really, really know, but I had forgotten a little bit. I used to know the feeling of grass tickling my back, and the way the world looked from upside down, but I had forgotten, a little bit.

So I went to school, to learn how to be a kid.

I didn't have to sign up or anything. That's the good thing about kid school. You can go anytime. The school I went to was outside, in a garden. That's another good thing about kid school. And my teachers were old, so very old....

I mean, Beanie is two years old. I don't even know what that means, to be two years old. Jaz, she's probably seven, or is she eight? Then there's Monster Face, and I think he's maybe four. See what I mean? Old.

There are classes you take in kid school. I took a class from Beanie in Running Super Fast Back and Forth. That's a good class. Important to know, if you ask me. You might think it only involves running, but there's quite a bit more to it. I mean, sure, you can just run back and forth in straight lines, but you can also run in zig- zag lines, and you can even hold your arms out like an airplane at the same time.

Jaz instructed the class on The Proper Technique for Making Rock Cakes, which I found most informative. First, you should make sure that the rocks you are using are really tiny, and then you just scoop up handfuls and make little piles in the shape of cakes. See? Rock Cakes. They're really just meant to be decorative, though. Monster Face told me that.

A thing you should watch out for when you're making Rock Cakes, is banana bugs. Jaz taught me about them. They have eight legs and they can be yellow, pink, green, or brown, and they have stingers with venom, so you have to be really careful. If you can't always see them, it doesn't mean they aren't there, because they can also turn invisible. Monster Face whispered in my ear a secret, that if they sting you, you can die. Sometimes kid school is scary.

Rocks can be used for lots of things, not just making cakes. Monster Face showed me how you can pile them on your sister's back like she's a pick-up truck. You can also put rocks in your underwear, but that's maybe not the best idea.

I took a class in Rolling Around in the Grass. Beanie taught that one. That was a hard one. The grass was just so tickle-y, for one thing. I had to get used to that. You have to lie all the way down, too. You can't just pretend to lie down. Beanie made sure I learned that, quick. So you lie down all the way, on your back. Then you roll over. All the way over, so you end up on your tummy. You can't just roll from side to side. Beanie made sure I learned that, too.

Do you know how to turn into a Monster, or a Dinosaur? Well, Monster Face knows how. He taught me. He taught Beanie, too. That's another good thing about kid school. The teachers want to learn new stuff, too. To turn into a Monster you need to make your fingers like claws, and then you pull back your lips and show your teeth and you roar, but that doesn't mean that you're not a nice Monster or Dinosaur. That's just what Monsters and Dinosaurs do.

Sometimes at kid school you find things like teensy pieces of broken glass, and when you do, you should put them someplace where no one will get hurt by them, like maybe in the bushes behind the bench, because nobody can get back there. Jaz showed me.

I had been wanting to learn more about General Silliness, and Beanie was kind enough to instruct me. There really are lots of ways, but a good way to just generally be silly when you're sitting down is to rock back and forth really fast. Or, you can hold your legs out straight in front of you, and move them up and down nice and quick like. You can also shake your hands all around. That's a pretty silly thing to do. If you want to get really crazy, and I do mean really crazy, you can do all those things at once, but I'm warning you.....it's really, really silly.

When kid school was over, I said good bye to Beanie, and Jaz, and Monster Face. I stepped out of the garden, into my grown up world. I took the leaves and flowers out of my hair, that Monster Face had given me to help me look even more beautiful. I carried my grown up purse and I wore my fashionably over sized grown up sunglasses.

When I got home, I sang a little song to myself on the elevator. I thought that was kind of silly. My grown up clothes were dirty, but inside I felt clean, and new. I took off my shoes. I wiggled my toes.

Then, I took a nap.

Everyone needs a nap, sometimes.