this is where we live

I would like to dedicate this post to my mom, who wants to make sure her daughter isn't living in some crack house with rats and cockroaches and a thug named Fist.

She got to see our last apartment, but she hasn't been out here for a few years, and since we just moved, I figured I should post some pictures so she can see just how rat and thug-free our current digs are.

See, mom? Not a rat in sight.

(I hope....)

**** Addendum****

My mom read this post and was most concerned that everyone would give her the Bad Mom Award for not visiting more often. So, I would like everyone to know the following: 1)my mom is AMAZING, and 2)she LOVES me. Sorry, mom.

from the f.h. secret files

Remember when I said that I knew I would love being married?

Well, that's probably because I spent the better part of my teenage years thinking, dreaming, planning and praying for marriage.

I know. I was an old soul.

Well, when I was approximately twelve and three-quarters years old and at a slumber party, I took it upon myself to compile a list of all the desirable traits I would be seeking out in a potential mate.

The list is hand-written, on lined paper, and encased in a red paper folder. I have entitled the list "F.H. Secret Files" (F.H. standing, naturally, for future husband), and at the top of the list I have included the essentials: my name, the date, and my age. For posterity.

Right about now, as you fight between feelings of embarrassment, pity, and delight, you're probably wondering how many items are on my list.

I'll tell you:

One hundred and twenty-two.

I have, of course, marked with a star those I considered to be of particular importance.

Now, some of you may have heard about this list. I'm pretty sure, though, that none of you have actually seen it. And I KNOW that Paul hasn't seen it.

But today, since it is our anniversary, and because I love that an unabashed geek like me got to marry the dreamy football player, I am posting five items from my list.

1. GREAT kisser- very important (I hadn't yet been kissed, but I figured on liking it once I had.)

2. Can sing to me when I wake up in the morning (please keep in mind that my movie diet consisted almost entirely of musicals. I just figured that was normal.)

3. He has to sing in the shower (what was I going to do if he didn't? sheesh, again with the musicals. It took me a few more years to figure out that musical-reality and actual reality weren't the same. Yes, it was devastating.)

4. He must never buy me a blender (I wish I could go back in time and tell teenage me just how sexy a nice blender actually is. I think she'd change her mind.

5. He must be strong enough to crush me, but gentle enough not to. (you probably want to throw up right now. That's okay. Go ahead.)

I'm not sure Paul knew what he was getting himself into.

I'm going to go lock up the list now.

a good nine years

Nine years ago, I woke up and it was my wedding day.

I had ramen noodles for breakfast and it was really beautiful outside which I told myself was because the universe was celebrating my impending nuptials and I took a nap and when I drove to my hair appointment I listened to Beck's Midnight Vultures.

And I walked down the aisle and Paul was crying and I was laughing and later, after rings and the cake that wasn't mine and dancing we crammed me and my enormous dress into the cab of Paul's truck and we drove home and it was our home, which was weird in a nice way.

Nine years later, the home is still ours, and ours in a nice way and it no longer is weird, even though this home is about three thousand miles away from the first one.

And while I am in no way where I thought I would be nine years after that day (kids? house? what else is grown-up-ish that I don't have?), I am entirely certain that I am exactly where I should be, and I am with exactly who I should be with.

Did I say that I am in no way where I thought I would be in nine years? I guess that's true, with one important exception:

I knew, knew beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I would love being married.

And I was right.

i am in no way qualified for this

This is how done I am with studying:

I am currently taking an online survey about disposable diapers.

I KNOW.

funny is funny

Sometimes when you're three, you want to dip your goldfishy crackers in water.

And when I say sometimes, I mean today.

Joseph started it. He put one of his crackers in his little Dixie cup of water and, beaming, looked at his mom and said "swimming!!"

Well, apparently, anybody who is ANYBODY does that with goldfishy crackers, because a few minutes later, Paul and I were saddled with about seven three-year-olds all dumping goldfish crackers in their water cups and laughing up a storm.

While it was really, really funny, (and we LOVE funny) we also don't want to get a bunch of phone calls from parents who are like "why did you break my kid? How come he/she won't eat anything unless it has been dumped in water?"

So, Paul decided to introduce a little discipline. He turned to Jonah, who had just carefully placed about thirty raisins in his cup, and said "no, no, Jonah. We don't put snacks in our water..."

And Jonah looked up and grinned and said...

"But it's funny."

He was right. Funny is funny.

show off

There was this girl at the gym and she was stretching and she was swinging her right leg back and forth like a pendulum or a metronome or something like that. I'm pretty sure I saw her toe touch her ear.

Show off.

a love not meant to be

I am in love.

I am in love with this cake plate. Look at it!! Just look at the punchy color, at its wavy-ness, at its adorable cake-plate-iness. I was blog browsing, and whilst perusing design sponge or cup of jo (I can't remember which), I saw this.

It calls to me. It says "Andrea, you love me. You want to take me home and make lots of cakes and love me forever. Also I cost a million dollars. That's not a problem, is it?"

And I'm like "uh....it kind of is a problem. Because I'm married and my husband might collapse if he knew about our secret love and he would SURELY collapse if he knew I was even THINKING about taking you home with me. Which, by the way, I am not." (that was for Paul. So he doesn't worry.)

Unless, when I am checking my pants pockets before doing laundry, I find a million dollars. If that happens, I am totally buying this.

Until then, our love can never be.

Sigh.

Also you can find this at www.iacolimcallister.bigcartel.com. I won't be jealous if you are also shot in the heart by cupid's cruel arrow.

I mean, how could you not be?