the science of birthday gifts

Sunday is my birthday. I really like birthdays. I think I mentioned that in a previous post, didn't I? I like the idea that your birthday is one day of the year when you're always right, you can buy whatever you want (within reason, of course), eat whatever you want (which I do anyway, but on my birthday I feel I have a very good reason), and also I really like cake. Paul has gotten me a birthday gift, and now as I type, it is sitting on the floor behind me: a medium sized box, wrapped in pink wrapping paper covered with little girls dressed as ballerinas. He has selected two bows, one red and one white, and placed them right next to each other in the upper left hand corner of the box. I am wondering if these bows are supposed to represent our love for each other, or at least our close proximity to one another? Hmmmm. Now, the important question....what is it?? Paul said that he took a risk when he got this for me. A risk? A birthday seems like a pretty big day to take a risk with present buying, especially given my history of placing far too much importance on a day most people hate. I just looked at it again. It looks like it could be something electronic. I'm not sure I want something electronic. Paul said that I have mentioned wanting this since before we were married. What have I wanted that long? Do you know?? I really can't think of anything, and I'm wondering if I've been able to go six years without purchasing it, is it really that important? Or, is it soooo important that I haven't been able to justify buying it? Wait- I think I just figured it out. Maybe. If it is what I am thinking it is, then I do like it. Oh, I so totally know what it is. That sneaky devil. Okay, I was wrong. I just asked Paul, and while my guess was something he had considered getting me, it is not that. Hmmmm. I really don't know. I thought he got me a Kitchen Aid, which I have long coveted, but he thought that was actually too risky, as it falls into the appliance category. So, what is risky, that I've wanted for at least six years and possibly more, and is not as risky as an appliance? I tried to weasel more information out of him by painting the bleak picture of me weeping next to the unwanted present as he left for work, and this almost did the trick, but then I asked him if it was the Kitchen Aid, he got freaked out that I could get in his head like that, and he's stopped revealing anything. If anything, he's looking more confident. Paul, if you're reading this, here's a list of things I've wanted for over six years:

1. A pony
2. To meet Cary Grant
3. Muscular calves
4. One of those spa treatments where you get all wrapped up in mud, seaweed or some other earthy product. And then they put hot stones on your back. Yeah.
5. A trip to Spain
6. Actually, it might be nice to own Spain

Paul has gotten concerned that the wrapping paper is slightly see-through. He has since draped a T-shirt over the top.