two weddings and a brawl (best. party. ever.)

WE'RE BACK!!!!!

I had a ten day fling with California, and now I'm all ready to be faithful to NYC, even if it is like a million degrees and super humid out here.

There's just no place like hot, stinky, humid home.

So, the main reason for our visit to Cali were two weddings: a co-worker of Paul's, and MY LITTLE SISTER WHO I CAN'T BELIEVE GOT MARRIED OH MY GOSH I SWEAR SHE'S STILL LIKE TWELVE WEARING A PURPLE CASIO WRISTWATCH HOLY COW WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN I TOTALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

Right.

So, to give adequate attention to each event, here I will focus solely on the nuptials of Paul's co-worker, Alli. Who is one of the sweetest, hardest working, and prettiest girls ever.

To start with, this wedding was SUPER CRAZY FANCY. I'm not sure if the capital letters adequately convey just how fancy this soiree actually was. I mean, it was at the BEVERLY HILLS BAY RIDGE COUNTRY CLUB. THERE WAS A BEACH LIKE RIGHT THERE. LIKE WE WERE PRACTICALLY ON THE WATER. LIKE SHE ALMOST GOT MARRIED ON A BOAT.

Yes, that fancy.

So, Paul and I were all dolled up and we watched Alli get married and it was sweet and beautiful and then we ate lots of appetizers and they were delicious and then we were eating dinner and THAT'S WHEN THE BRAWL STARTED.

I mean, we're just sitting there, eating our fancy fish and our fancy steak and drinking our fancy water and talking about fancy wedding stuff and then there's this HUGE CRASH and we turn around and there's this man at the table next to us and he's got blood dripping down his face because the lady sitting next to him SMASHED A WINE GLASS OVER HIS HEAD.

Uh huh. Smashed. Glass. On the head.

And then people are yelling and rushing at each other and some do-gooders pull them off each other and everyone rushes outside except for this one guy who stays at the table and finishes his dinner which I totally don't blame him for because that fancy steak was really, really good.

I'm pretty sure as all this went on I was staring, open-mouthed and grinning. I don't think I even tried to stop myself.

We then spent the rest of the night attempting to get the back-story, which goes something like this:

Democrat. Republican. Mean words. More mean words. Even more mean words. Glass smashing.

And the cops come and handcuff the lady (who did the smashing) and they take her away to the clink and the dude who got smashed just keeps hanging out at the reception, with his head all bandaged up like he just had brain surgery or something.

And then, you know, they cut the cake. Business as usual, right?

BEST. PARTY. EVER.