I think I made a fool of myself approximately four hours ago.
See, I'm taking an American Literature class this semester, and today Awesome Crazy Hair American Literature Teacher Who Sort of Intimidates Me But Really I Like Her gave us a quiz, which she then asked me to collect from my fellow students.
I'm good at taking direction. I sort of go into worker bee mode, you know? "Must collect papers. Must collect papers." (meant to be read in a robot voice)
So, I went around the room collecting the papers. Silently. That whole robot voice thing was only in my head. As far as I know.
So I got to this kid who clearly preferred to not be at school at all, let alone taking a quiz in a class on early American literature taught by Smarty Pants Awesome Crazy Hair. He was still writing. He asked me if he could have a few more minutes.
Me. The one who is not the teacher and has no authority whatsoever.
So I sort of gestured towards the teacher. I'd like to think my gesture was able to convey the message that the time allotted for the quiz was actually over along with sincere and heartfelt sympathy for his plight, but I don't think he got that message because he rolled his eyes and made that sighing sound like I had just socked him in the gut and threw his pen down and tossed his paper at me.
Angry at the man. I dig.
I moved on. I stood waiting for the last kid to give me his paper. He didn't ask for a few more minutes like the last kid. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. He just kept on writing.
And I just stood there.
Waiting.
The classroom was silent. I considered turning in the rest of the papers and sitting down. I think that would have been a completely reasonable thing to do.
I didn't, though. I kept on standing there, waiting, for like TWO MINUTES until he finished, looked up, and handed me his paper.
I just, I don't know.....had to.
It was like robot voice just took over, and I had to complete my mission or else I'd explode or something.
MUST COLLECT PAPERS. MUST COLLECT PAPERS.
There was something else, though. It was like I became that obnoxious girl sitting in the front row pointing at the kid who wasn't obeying the rules. Only I wasn't just pointing, I was standing, like a hunting dog, right in front of his desk.
I called Paul and told him what happened. Wow, he said. I would have just sat down.
Geez. Of course I should have sat down. Stupidstupidstupid!
Then I thought great, so now I'm going to be Weird Standing Girl for the rest of the semester.
I sat there for a while, picturing what the rest of the semester would be like as Weird Standing Girl. I was in the middle of visualizing a milk carton being thrown at my head when I thought hey.......WAIT A MINUTE!!! I AM OLD!!!!
I'm a good ten years older than everyone in class with me!!! Old TOTALLY trumps crazy! Old is like the all encompassing adjective, you know? So instead of thinking I'm Weird Standing Girl, maybe they just thought I have a bad case of rheumatism or arthritis or the gout or the vapors, and I had to stand.
I feel so much better now!
Please don't ruin it for me.
11 comments:
you are hilarious. Al and I are laughing uproariously at your story! I would have left all of the papers on the last kid's desk, and made him turn them in...late! Booyah! It was lovely to run into you last night!
I think the title of this post, "standing for something," is perfect. Just perfect. :-)
I read your story and don't know what I would have done under the same circumstances. So I don't think what you did was unreasonable. If you had left the papers with the last kid, he probably would have copied though, so it's good you didn't do that.
Um, you don't look ten years older, so that's what counts. Remember, college girls don't take as good care of themselves, so be sure to wear pigtails, a big hoodie and sweatpants (because you've been up late partying), and you'll fit right in!
I had to laugh at the "old" feeling you have. I feel EXACTLY the same way! I feel like the oldest Junior in the world. Most of my classes are online, but last year I took a few summer classes at BYU...all my "peers" were like "how old are you???". OLD!!! Know the feeling cuz!
Hey Andrea,
I know how you feel. It is kind of like my post I recently wrote. I knew it! I inspired you to write this. HA! HA! HA!. You know, to tell you the truth, after I wrote that I realized it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. Oh well, I'm to lazy to get rid of it. If it makes you feel better, I would have done the same thing in your situation! Love your brother,
John
hudgi- that would have been kind of awesome. even awesomer if i said "booyah", i think. i loved running into you peeps! let's do it again, not accidentally, i say!
andersons- :-) to you, too!!
ellen- pigtails, hoodie, sweatpants. got it. if anyone asks, i was up late partying. got it.
jeppson- so awesome being old. i told some kid i'd been married for seven years and i think he nearly fell out of his chair....
little john- you always inspire me! knowing you would have done the same thing actually does make me feel a good deal better. thanks!
You are better than I! I am such a Monica that I would have told on him because I don't think it is fair when people get more time. I am the worst kind of hall monitor type of person. So you were much more considerate than I ever would have been
ryanne- i love that about you!! you are aaaawesome. period.
i have totally done that!!!!
and i hat the nasty sick feeling inside of your stomach that you get as you look back on yourself.
ick.
I'm sorry, i feel thy pain. :)
Yeah, I guess sometimes being old ROCKS!
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