I consider myself to be a reasonably witty person.
You know, more so than some, far less than others. Reasonable. Except for maybe I'm not so witty, because the other day I was totally, completely, utterly and in all ways possible, stumped by a T-shirt.
So I'm riding the subway, see? And I'm about to get off, and this dude is about to get on, and I see his shirt as I pass. It has a picture of a busty lady pushing a baby carriage, and a caption reading Junk in the trunk.
I don't get it.
I ponder this all the way home.
What does it mean?
Does the mom have junk in her trunk? Is this a misogynistic statement about attractive females? But what about the baby carriage? Is the baby the junk in the trunk? Is this a rallying cry for single fathers wishing to skip out on child support and thus ditch the junk in the trunk?
Is he saying he is attracted to women who have given birth? Is he making a statement about post baby bodies? Because if he is I would like to soundly kick his trash and then shove a watermelon up his nostril to see how he likes it. Or does he like the post baby body, in which case I will recant my previous watermelon shoving wishes but still give him a stern lecture about society's objectification of women.
As Paul and I walk home, I ask him. You're a dude, I say. What does it mean? The junk in the trunk phraseology combined with the mom pushing a baby carriage?
Paul doesn't get it, either.
BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?????????
I mean, whatever it means, T-shirts are just not the place for those sly, wink-over-your-shoulder nods to some private joke you have with your buddy Wallace. T-shirts are the place for obvious humor. You know, snarky stuff like "I'm busy you're ugly have a nice day", and "Trust me, I'm a doctor". Stuff that kinda makes you want to smack the wearer of the shirt, but at least you know what it means and you don't spend like a whole week trying to figure it out, calling into question your very abilities to recognize wit and asking everyone qualifying as a male because apparently they have a secret club where they come up with T-shirt ideas that make no sense whatsoever.
Not cool, man. Not cool.
Seriously, though. WHAT DOES IT MEAN????
I mean, I've already asked all the guys I know. Maybe I'll go ask the super. Yeah, Plinio might know.
I just don't get it.
4 comments:
Usually junk in the trunk refers to the size of a woman's posterior. Therefore, I'm stumped, too. If you find out, I'd love to know.
sonya d- well, it's good to know that it's not just me scratching my head in confusion. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? also hi! thanks for your comment!
I totally tried finding/googling the answer to no avail. Was it a woman's shirt? Was there anything on the back? Ironically, my word verification is "Slut". They really should screen those . . .
will- okay, i would like to apologize on behalf of my word verification thing-y. i've talked to it before. it really needs to lay off the shock humor. also, it could have been a woman's shirt, since it was pink, or maybe he's just one of those dudes who likes wearing pink.
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