Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything to say.
Most of the time I have a good deal to say. I like to look for the joy in life. I enjoy finding the laugh, especially when the laugh is tucked away inside the un-funny: monsoon rains on the way home from work, trying unsuccessfully to have a baby, cranky patients at work. There's a laugh in there, I just know it. When I find the laugh, I feel like I have something to say.
Sometimes, I don't.
Sometimes, I don't want to find the laugh. I'd rather lick my wounds, along with an ice cream cone and some chocolate pudding. Chocolate coated grief. Mmmmmmm. Nummy.
I just laughed a little. There we go, there I am. I knew I was in there, somewhere.
How come? How come sometimes the laugh is right there, all fizzy and sweet and ready to spill over, and sometimes hiding?
Buried underneath late bedtimes and early mornings, and ninety five degree weather and going back to school and will I disappoint someone and am I ever going to be a parent, there's a laugh, I just know it.
Thinking..........thinking.........
Hmmmmm.
Maybe some bits of life are not funny. Some bits are difficult and even slightly rotten, and you know what?
I think that's okay.
I'm just going to save up laughs like they're food storage. A good laugh can keep for years, you know. I'll just pack them away, with the best ones right on top, and make sure they're good and ready for my next Cranky Time. So, the next time I find myself up against an un-funny Character Building Experience, I'll just use some recycled funny.
I've got my little brother squirting Kool Aid out his nose, a four year old quizzing me about my eating habits, and Paul making silly faces. I've got Dad asleep at the kitchen table, I've got my outfit for the first day of seventh grade, puffy paint and all.
That's good stuff, man.
I think I just found my funny.
7 comments:
Well said...some things are not funny. In fact there are times when I resent a joke being cracked because I'm grieving here people! Seriously when you're down sometimes you need to feel DOWN. Not want, NEED...it's important to feel it if you want to properly move on to the laughing part again...which is also important. So basically I just paraphrased everything you just said...go me.
Yes, what Miggy said. And if you're ever feeling in need and want of laughter, you know who to call. You could also keep a photo of the friendly face with you at all times. It's always good for a giggle.
Ahhhh, Andrea, I have some very funny funnies of you as a kid, I am sure I could drudge some up on a not so funny day.
I am glad that you have laughs saved up, you amaze me that you are always able to find your funny. But I'm glad that you can just cry sometimes too. Sometimes life isn't so funny.
I am always up for sharing a brownie, or a chocolate chocolate-chip cookie... love you girl!
Don't forget the spam sketch - have you seen the argument sketch, or the accountant/lion tamer? Those are my favorites.
Yes, have a good cry. But don't you find right afterwards, you laugh more at the funny-ness? As if the sadness brings to our attention what a gift it is to laugh. That's true for me, at least. Did I just summarize you too? Oops.
Andrea-
Yeah for your blog...yeah for you funny...
I just hearted your blog! Now it can be one of my regular funnies...
I'm with you. I've got some funnies recorded in my head for special occassions. Sometimes you just need them.
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